A few days ago, Sam was nice enough to make me an illegal copy of Zoo Tycoon, the most fun game ever. Since then I have been trying to complete all the scenarios. The one I attempted today was rather difficult, and I lost. I know, I was sad too. However, I did manage to have a little fun - I went crazy in the zoo, firing all my staff, destroying fences and letting animals escape. I even adopted almost 100 animals just to set them free. As can be expected, guests quickly fled my zoo. And I got pictures!
In this first picture, you can see animals everywhere. Polar bears, crocodiles, tigers, penguins, wolves, zebras, lions, an elephant... and one lone, crazy guy standing there watching them all incredulously.
This second picture allows you to see the large-scale destruction. Stampeding animals, ruined exhibits, rotting fences... why yes, I do have too much time on my hands. Why do you ask?
December 24, 2001
To prove just how much free time I have, I'm going to give you three more pictures from the lovely city zoo I destroyed today.
This first picture shows the zoo as it should be. Happy hippos, lions, monkeys and ostriches wander their exhibits as hordes of greedy people crowd around the snack machines. This zoo is, in a word, boring.
This next picture shows what happens when a zoo manager fires all her maintenance men and zookeepers and the fences start to break. I think my favorite thing about it is the poor man in the blue shirt (in the cat exhibit on the right, near the rock cave) who is quite obviously freaking out. Zoo Tycoon has a feature that allows you to click on people and see what they're saying ("I'm thirsty," "I don't like this zoo," whatever). If I had my way, this guy would be screaming "oh, FUCK!" As it is, he is apparently saying "help! White bengal tiger number 5 is attacking me!"
I can't decide whether my favorite thing about this final picture is the white tiger in the food court, or that little green-skirted girl (bottom left) who is standing there staring at the polar bear. If you look near the elephants you can also see a couple of white birds; those appeared and started attacking people when I named one of my guests "Alfred H."
The moral of all this is, never let Amy run a zoo.
